I get migraines-and when they come, they come in clusters. There’s just one immediate problem: I can’t open the migraine medicine package.
I cut my hand on the stiff plastic package holding a new pair of scissors.
I went to the grocery store early to get in and get out. The credit card scanner broke and it took 30 minutes to fix it and I couldn’t move to another aisle…oh, and I was forced to buy a pack of gum I didn’t want to make the transaction go through.
I insist my newspaper be put on my porch. So, instead of just throwing it on my driveway, the delivery person threw it right through my glass door.
Why don’t car manufacturers cut the cost of their vehicles by eliminating turn signals; no one uses them anymore anyway.
Listening to corn fructose commercials which must operate on the principle that consumers are idiots. They come right out and say “sugar is sugar” but don’t seem to understand that that is exactly the point; we don’t want sugar of “any” kind, so what is their point.
Along those lines, how about “sugar free” items that remove “sugar” but surreptitiously reinstate it in the form of compounds ending in “ose” or ”ol”?
You finally find a certain brand and type of merchandise that you never thought anyone else would think to market except yourself (if you were a millionaire) and when you go back to “stock up,” it has been discontinued.
You’re going to be tested for a sleep disorder…by determining how well you sleep in a hospital bed with a gazillion “leads” attached to you and someone watching you all the time from another room.
Am I the only one who notices that in just about all horror, thriller and a lot of science fiction movies, the characters always use humongous flashlights, instead of just turning on the lights?
Is anyone actually able to sing the “Star Spangled Banner” as it was written? And then, can they sing it correctly and without all those dips and distortions our present-day artists seem to think enhances it? Wait, how many singers today can actually sing a song according to a melody (okay, okay, if it actually has one)?
Has everyone forgotten the standard usage rule that “the full name of an acronym is spelled and defined first, then the capitalized abbreviation follows.” I don’t know about you, but every day in at least one medium, someone writes or says a short-form acronym and then neglects to define what it means.
How about finding out that that fabulous new heart medicine or cholesterol reducer can also cause heart attacks, death, and other such wonderful side effects? I love the one that may cause you to gamble recklessly; that’s got to be the best.
Okay, I want to see the stats on car robberies of only those cars which use that new-car technology of starting your car with a push of the finger only.
How many of you can read subtitles when you watch a DVD at home and, besides their irritatingly small size, the color of them is almost always not a good enough contrast to read them, no matter what their size might be.
So, do British people know that they have an accent?
Watching a has-been celebrity back an airlift program for veterans, pronouncing it VETRANS.
“Commentating” instead of “commenting.”
Watching and listening to the constant degradation of the American language: “that” has almost completely replaced “who” and “whom” just because no one remembers how to use them. ‘Who” is for people, “that” is for objects.
I can hardly spell “potentialities” never mind make up its place in the dictionary? (Ann Curry-Today Show June 27, 2011).
Why do people insist upon using the British usage of such words as “forwards” (forward-American), towards (toward)?
Who can tell me what’s wrong with this one: “I got the call which every husband dreads at midnight my wife was killed in an accident.” (Local law firm)
Or, how about (same law firm) a client explains how he was hit by a car going over the “medium.”
How about those marketing geniuses who want to make their car clients think they are sooooo cool by misspelling trendy names of cars: Sorento (Sorrento), CRZ for craze,
How about all those famous overweight people who boast of losing so many pounds? Can anyone say “personal chef,” “personal trainer,” “personal weight room or testimonial gym” or who become celebrity spokespeople for well-known diet programs (where they’re paid and receive all their food for free)?
I personally would like to know what percentage of major network morning show viewers have ever made, or even attempted to make even one dish from those famous chefs we see each morning. Can anyone say not only “too complicated,” “too many (exotic or expensive) ingredients, but also too much time and money?
How many people “pet” and “fondle” a “service animal” (in our society, they are mostly dogs) when it says right on them not to do so?
And then, there is “anyways” for “anyway.”
How did we get so lost?
Baby Boomer Lingo (how many of you remember these):
How many lumps would you like?
Grammar Gafs (Or the impending death of the American language):
“Sprung” instead of “Sprang”
“Sung” instead of “Sang”
“Shrunk” instead of “Shrank” and most of know which movie proudly used that misuse.